what is in mind?

there are alot of things that are running in mind now...i always and even now studying and keep on focusing on how much marks i can get. my friends used to call me bookworm. bt today i feel like i enjoyed nothing in my life. i have a wonderful family but i rarely spend time with them. my focus and fear is always on pointer only. i don't know how to avoid it. when i see my friends they seems to be more happier and enjoy their life. for me, i smile but that smile didnt give me any satisfaction. i feel alone. when i look back at my past, i cannot recall any wonderful moments. i never took picture of it. for the past 2 to 3 years i never attended any friends gathering. i don't know why i avoided it. when i open my facebook, i saw my friends gathering,their fun activities it does hurts me alot. why i cannot be like them? why i feel like that i'm alone in this world? why i forgot to smile for real? why i'm not cheerful as i was used to be? so many questions running in mind. i'm still searching answer for alot of it. i wish i can get out of this faster..god please help me...i hope you can hear my prayers...